Mom Guilt Be Gone: How to Celebrate Your Baby's Milestones

Babies are such intelligent creatures, starting with what they learn independently in the womb. Most babies naturally meet their milestones due to developing their body systems and structures. Of course, a nurturing environment is also a perk to meeting milestones. Witnessing your baby achieve developmental milestones is a rewarding experience that often reassures parents about their child's progress. 

While guidelines for age-specific achievements can be informative, it's important to remember that each child develops at their own pace. Focusing too intently on these benchmarks may lead to unnecessary stress and self-doubt for parents whose babies don't precisely align with standardized timelines. The uniqueness of the journey taken by the child has to be appreciated, and healthcare professionals should be consulted for guidance rather than allowing generalized expectations to overshadow the joys of parenting.

Parental Doubt

Many parents come to us saying things like, ‘I should have done this earlier; I didn’t know that it was that important; my other children just did this on their own without me having to help them; why didn’t I think of that; I wish I knew that I shouldn’t have used this; Is it my fault that they’re behind?’. All of this guilt is powerful and keeps us from being present in the moment. The truth is that your baby doesn’t know any better, and the people around you are going to forget that your baby was delayed. The reality is that none of us know ‘all of the things,’ and we can’t be experts in everything. If your child needs pediatric OT or PT, we’re the right place to adjust to your child’s needs. 

Social media and searching for things online can be very helpful and insightful, but it can create additional feelings of insecurity. We recommend limiting your interaction with their posts and opinions if you’re following accounts of people without an education in early childhood development or a pediatric medical program. Instead, we suggest following people and seeking advice from experts in the field. Also, there is a range of months in which skills are expected, and no one else is expecting your baby to master them on day one of the range. First, take one of our quizzes to see if your child is meeting their milestones.

Factors Affecting Your Child

Now that you have a clear understanding of whether your child is on track or not, let’s cover a few other basics: 

Connection

Babies are unaware they are separate from mom (you) for the first 6 months of life. Even the heart rate can be traced to be higher or lower in the infant based on what the mom is doing. Babies are so interconnected with their moms that it makes transitioning away from her very difficult. On the flip side, this also means that they are picking up on our stress, anxiety & insecurities. So when you’re feeling in doubt about how your baby is doing, do your best to calm your nerves and realize the more you are upbeat about what they currently ARE doing, the more regulated your baby will feel. The more regulated they are, the more confidence they can develop in themselves and start to try new things, including new milestones! 

Environment

Think of a safe, sectioned-off space free from clutter, animals, older children, and choking hazards. We want toys that promote curiosity and problem-solving while providing sensory input in their space. It is important to keep the toys within reach or place them in their hands first, then slowly move them farther away to promote reaching, grasping, and whole-body movements. We want to avoid small, cramped spaces and containers, which limit how our babies explore, discouraging movement. Have brighter lighting during wake periods, and consider having light nursery rhymes playing in the background. Nurturing touch is always helpful, and having a warm body when the air is blowing or the fan is running can also help your baby feel regulated. If they seem jittery, are struggling with hiccups, or seem overall tight, providing a deep, calming touch can be an effective way to bring them to a more regulated state. 

Toys 

Toys can make or break a baby’s desire to play, learn, explore, and move. If a baby lacks motivation to interact with people or toys, they likely won’t have the motivation to do something challenging to get to them, either. Thin toys, lightweight, have holes to grasp different angles, and have different textures, are great for newborns - 4 months. After 4 months, you can start incorporating bulkier toys that require two hands to hold them. This promotes bringing hands to the midline (the center of their body) and transferring toys between the right and left sides. This promotes mind-body connection and coordination. 

As they age, babies are intrigued by items that are hidden. Think toys with lids, cupboards, boxes, and tupperware. Problem-solving and opening these toys has always been fascinating for older infants. Cause-and-effect-themed toys are extremely helpful in promoting problem-solving, as well. Think of toys with a button to push to make them light up or make a sound. Be sure to choose ones with volume control and that stop after a few seconds, so your  baby learns it must be touched repeatedly to bring them more entertainment. 

Modeling 

People learn through watching, reading, and doing. Babies are little people who learn in the same way. One way to help your baby meet their milestones is by bringing their hands to toys and passively guiding them through movements. Another way to promote motor milestone mastery is modeling. Show them how you roll over, reach, and crawl. If you have other friend’s children that you can be around (who are high on the support and low on the judging), your baby may also enjoy watching them! 

Once you have these aspects taken care of, your child will be at the peak of mastering new milestones! As they show signs of curiosity, intrigue, and strength, they slowly increase the work required for the sought-after person or toy by moving it farther away.